Happy Holidays

After a 76 degree Wednesday afternoon, you can imagine my shock to find ourselves in the middle of a blizzard, Christmas Eve. The snow came, decorated the south for just one day... and left as quickly as it came. It was a magical white Christmas, indeed.

Even with a missing piece, our Christmas was no less filled with love and joy. It helped that there was a new addition - Thomas' sister and six month old niece joined us in present opening and Wii sports and lots of drooling. She's an absolute delight, one of those babies who is content 99% of the time.

We've enjoyed some very unconventional gifts, including this ScoutieGirl Post and this TryHandmade mention. Our new Etsy shop has a healthy growth rate, so far. I'm so excited to see how it does with more time!

That's all for now. We're sleepy and have a pile of orders to roast and ship out - and my own etsy shop needs some serious handmade CPR. Updates to come!

I'm wishing you love and warmth for the holidays. Thank you all for being so supportive this season!

We Are DowntownRoasters

We're online! We chose to run our shop through Etsy not only because I'm so familiar with the Etsy process, but also because we believe it's the best home for our business style and ethics - we're tiny - and we want the coffee in your cup to come directly from our hands.

Check out our etsy shop, today! www.DowntownRoasters.etsy.com

enough love to fill a city

After writing a lengthy blog post explaining the details of how I experienced Thanksgiving Day, I never had the heart to hit "publish". Writing was cathartic and positive - but I couldn't think of a single positive reason to post it, publicly. Instead, I wanted to share some of the photos my Aunt, Shevaun Williams, took for the memorial and reception that we held at the Coffee Haus. I think the photos really captured the absolute beauty, love, and joy that we experienced that evening - a defined high point in our lives these past two weeks.

[heartbroken]

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.

T. S. Eliot

A long while ago, I came to the decision that this blog would be mainly business related - and that I'd keep peeks into my personal life to a bare minimum. I have always tried to keep my shop and my online presence as professional as possible. I fear anything less would seem messy and unappealing to potential customers. Because of this (along with a full schedule), my blog has withered and been all but deleted.

If you'd only seen this blog, you probably wouldn't know I love to write. I love to share cheesy descriptions of my favorite moments in life - I tend to wax sentimental and share things that [even] I am embarrassed by. I have decided that [maybe temporarily] I'll let myself share again. Mainly because I need to. So, dear reader, if your stomach churns at too trite a thought, a run-on sentence*, or public airing of used handkerchiefs, please do check back in a few months. Maybe I'll have returned to your regularly scheduled sale and event notifications, sans cheese.
*I never claimed to be good at it, just that I enjoyed writing.

That being said... I've been fighting with myself about if I should tell this story chronologically or in reverse. But then I remembered: this is a selfish act of writing and you'll be confused no matter how I write it, even if you make it to the end. So I'll begin in the middle and tell it how my memories and daily experiences progress.

For now, you should know the middle is what marks everything that happened prior to as "before" and everything following as "after." The middle is what changed every facet of my life, as far as I can tell, forever. The middle is what makes my chest tighten and my fingers go numb. The middle was Thanksgiving Day, when my boyfriend's father unexpectedly suffered a major heart attack, lost conciseness on the way to the hospital, and never woke back up.

Before is the summer I graduated college, began working with my friends at a neighborhood coffee shop, got free haircuts from a very fatherly boss, and fell hopelessly in love with his son. Before is when I worked long hours because I loved it there. Before is when Thomas finally realized he loved me back, and when his father (also named Thomas) began inviting me Sunday lunch. Before is when this very man gave me flexible work hours and a place to sell handmade things from all of my fellow artists. Before is when the coffee shop struggled - as did we, against each other and together, to make the shop and our lives together something special. Before is when I developed a complicated relationship with my boss, my hairstylist, and hopeful father-in-law to be. With all real relationships involving love, they are complex.

After is every second since last Thursday. After is every breath and sigh and tear and unanswered question. After is painful and bittersweet. After is every person I see wearing a black hat. After is every cup of coffee that tastes different. After is every U2 song and empty space where his laugh should be. After is an untouched coffee roaster, a silent hairdryer, and an unknown computer password. After is terrifying.

I'm in the after. I still have not met acceptance of his death. I spent the first day learning how to breath and walk and talk, again. I spent the first week trying to be as strong as I could be for the man I love. Now, we're trying to figure out what life looks like in the after. I have never been so unsure of anything, so devastated, so deeply heartbroken.

Here's to hoping this will allow me to find some understanding or closure - or if nothing else, it will allow me to share with those worrying about us and thank those who are going above and beyond what I knew of friendship.

This is for every conversation with Thomas that I will never have.

Thank you

Thank you for all over you wishes and thoughts and for showing up. The Bash was... well... wow. This is the line fifteen minutes before doors opened:

I think it's safe to share this, now:

Cross your heart

hold your breath
repeat your mantra
cross your heart and hope to die
take out your lucky coin
cross your fingers
recite a spell
say a prayer
make a wish
count to ten
wear red
paint it gold
wear dirty socks
read your favorite quote
hail Mary
blow a kiss
say it three times fast

What do you do for luck? Do it for me, this weekend.
It's the Jingle Bash weekend!

Hope to see you

with bells on

Success!

The Girlie Show was a blast! Within the first half hour on Friday night, the place was packed shoulder to shoulder (or more accurately: shoulder to pink martini to shoulder). The music was great, the food was fantastic (well, the one bite of sushi I managed to get in was delicious), and everyone involved was super sweet. Definitely great to see some familiar faces!

Sadly, I'm still recovering from the mysterious allergy/cold thing. I completely lost my voice pretty early on. But I smiled so hard my cheeks still hurt!


My aunt, Shevaun Williams, captured some fantastic moments and I've uploaded a few into my flickr.

It's time I pick up my hustle

Here's a news clip about The Girlie Show. That's my little eggplant clutch.

Puttin' on the Rouge

There are 12 days until the Girlie Show in Oklahoma City. November 6th, we'll be loading up, driving up to the city and setting up for the first evening of a weekend in shopping, sipping, and tasting extravagance. Yep! Up, up and away! Weeeeee!

and then there was this:

In the Dallas Observer "Best of 2009" issue:

It's all new

I thought that I would have a slow summer to develop some new ideas and perfect my next favorite pattern. I didn't. The summer was intense. And then suddenly this week, it wasn't summer anymore and the intensity hadn't subsided. I've been trying to stay on top of things and keep a solid inventory and this has proven more difficult than I had imagined. Suddenly, about two weeks ago, I feel like my brain just decided "ok fine, so this is how it's going to be from now on? Well, I'm going to think of crazy, work-intensive, experimental projects, anyways". And THEN when my heart heard that something was going on, there wasn't any stopping my hands. I literally couldn't finish regular projects until I got these crazy ones out of my head. So instead of trying to describe them, I'll just show you:








i hope that these are loved. i'm still not sure what happened. maybe it's the weather. maybe it's being so exhausted that i'm not afraid to mess up. when you let go of that fear, your creative endeavors can only prosper. but sometimes we forget that.

in which I admit to kleptomania

PamelaMichelle, my usual partner in crime, is much more organized than I am in the blog world. I don't think she'll mind that I copied and pasted this straight from her blog because I'm lazy and disorganized really busy.

So come visit me and see everything I've been working on, feverishly, at these events:


Front Street Festival - Arlington
Date: Saturday, Sept 26th
Time: 10am-5pm
Location: Front Street, Downtown Arlington
More info: click here
Also participating: Dowdy Studio, PamelaMichelle, The Kessler Craftsman, and more
**Mylynka will also be there with information on the 3-Day Walk for breast cancer



Urban Street Bazaar - Dallas
Date: Saturday + Sunday, Oct 10 & 11
Time: Sat 12pm - 8pm, Sun 12pm - 4pm
Location: Bishop Arts District
More info: click here
See all the vendors: here

The Monogram Project

A while back, I participated in a blog giveaway with a very boisterous young lady named Bridget. I'm sure you all remember this, as I bragged about it for months. I was just so excited that I was able to curse like a sailor during an interview and I knew the audience would actually get a kick out of it.
During our exchange, I pretty much begged her to let me make her bridal gifts (even though my work load doesn't really allow for such custom work). After I sent booze and flowers, she finally said "yes" and was the best customer ever after. Seriously, she trusted my vision and was actually thrilled with the result! Seriously, so great, after it was all over, I maybe sent some emails stating "but, but... I thought you wanted to marry meeeeee!" and would totally crash the wedding if it weren't in Philly (But if YOU'RE in Philladelphia, hit up Open House, the most recent retail location to carry Cut Out and Collect bags. Then you can crash Bridget's wedding after she's good and drunk and she won't know the difference).

I suggested we do a set of clutches for her bridesmaids and she said yes. We then discussed if they would match, what kind of colors, or if we wanted to do some funny embroidery. She decided that the colors would compliment each bridesmaid. Bridget also went for a classy monogram for each of her lady's names. From there on, I had a ton of fun looking at fonts, planning placement, and coming up with how to work the monograms into the prints or sass up the letters themselves.

I really hope her bridesmaids love these as much as I do! Best of Luck, Bridget! I'm so happy you let me take part in your special day!

Now that feels nice!

Sigh... I'm just so overwhelmed with love, I must say.

With the help of 13 separate buyers, I was able to raise $90.00* for my donation to Mylynka's 3-Day Walk for Breast Cancer. As it turns out, people really do want things with the phrase "I like boobs" typed on to them. So much so, that I'm happy to say you'll see it as a reoccurring theme throughout the next month or so. The men asked for wallets, the ladies asked for more zipper pouches, there just wasn't enough time to make them all over the weekend. Watch for more in the shop so I can continue my the contribution to breast cancer research and awareness!
(*On top of this donation, a close family friend directly donated $50.00 to Mylynka, over the weekend.)

I must also brag a bit because I have a big crafter crush on Jessica, of MiniatureRhino, and she totally gave this little experiment an excellent shout on her fab blog, little is the new big.

Again, thank you all for the love and support, which I will be able to give on to Mylynka, on her journey. I think my heart may burst...